A 65-year-old man named Freddie Wadsworth was allegedly seen doing the dirty with a white goat that he owns on the property that he owns 35 miles outside of Atlanta, Georgia. Dude forgot that you can do whatever the hell you want WITHIN the confines of your home.
According to police, two neighbors spotted the man “in communion with the goat” from their home across the street. How? Well, it was in broad daylight. Go big or go home. Hell, GOAT big or GOAT home. Is Freddie the GOAT at goat-sexin’? I… don’t want to know. He, for sure, completely misinterpreted what “Beast Mode” means.
A police sergeant commented that “He has a lot of goats.” Holy cryptic, ominous remark, Dark Knight. What doest that mean? That he’s plowing a lot of goats? To me, it sounds like the reports went out of their way to say this goat was “white”. #BlackGoatsMatter
I feel like this Taylor Swift “I Knew You Were Trouble” Goat Edition video is to blame for Wadsworth’s egregious transgression…
But, the key takeaway (of many) is that the police had to use the “indecent exposure” code when addressing this supposed crime because there is no police code for a man having intercourse with a goat.
No word on whether or not the goat was a kid. That could add a couple years in prison. Right now, this goat-f***er is out on bail, so hide yo kids hide yo goatees. Watch out Cam Newton!
Wadsworth – which is one helluva last name for a sex fiend – could serve one to five years in prison if found guilty on the bestiality charge.
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Via The Smoking Gun